The Life of Moving

One of my goals this year was to get my own place, and away from family. Well, the end of June marked that huge step for me. Though it unfortunately pulled me away from one of my other goals for the year: blogging.

I've been so wrapped up with catering to a 2 year old, trying to unpack, keep the place picked up, and catching up on much needed sleep that many of my goals fell to the way side. I've been in the place for 6 months now, I'm still not even "mostly" unpacked - more like "sort of mostly", but it's finally starting to feel like it's really MINE.

Finally I have a safe haven. Finally I have the space to be truly free, without the unwanted gaze of someone who I feel is constantly judging my every move. Finally - I can be me.

The ability to walk around the house in whatever I so please in any given moment - be it with pants, or without, and to be able to simply decide to put the dishes off until later has been quite an experience! Not many realize how freeing it is to be able to walk around the house in nothing but a t-shit and panties, knowing that it's YOUR house, knowing that no one can just spontaneously come home and catch you doing it (which is typically followed by an unsupportive look).

This is my new life, and all I have to do is LIVE!

Of Love and Family…

The other day was my grandmother’s birthday. She turned the ripe young age of 71. To celebrate, several of us went out to dinner (not on the same day, but at a more convenient time for all). Following a tasty, and albeit pleasant, meal good-bye’s were said. However, those good-bye’s excluded myself – though they did manage to include the child in my arms. It was, indeed, a baffling situation – which of course got the wheels in my head turning…

This particular family consists of: my mother, her brother, one of her two sisters (both if the other happens to be on this side of the country), and their mother. Aside from my great-grandparents (from the same half of my blood), and the other bits of family that came with celebrating with them – that’s all the family I’ve ever really known.

I grew up knowing my dad - he and my mother were still married until I was 9. Though all of his family still lives in Wyoming, aside from his brothers – one of whom passed in 2002, and the other lives in the Dominican Republic. I had spent summers with these grandparents when I was younger, but that’s all the further our relationship had gone.

Beyond those blood relations I’ve also got the family I created: my son, and my partner (along with the bits of family that comes along with her). Right now I’m operating as a single mother, for reasons I won’t get into, so it’s hard for me to really distinguish where my family lies.

When I say the word “family”, typically speaking I am referring to my mother’s half of my blood. More often than not I do include my father in this as well, though for sake of separation and easy conversation the other respective members have been excluded. This is not to say that I don’t love them, as I do – very fondly, this is simply that they have not made such a drastic impact on my life for the simple reason of physical distance. I was also not raised in an environment where people truly reached out to each other, so physical distances have never really been over come. 

My time thus far in CAYA has shed new light within this area of my mind. The lovely people associated with this coven have really shown me that there can be more than the stereotypical definition that blood = family. Family is so much more than that.

Family is those who will love you unconditionally, just as you are. Family will stand by your side and hold you up, even when you didn’t realize you had been falling. Family will sit with you through the good times, and the bad – and they will be your undying support.

Today happened to be one of my Initiate meetings, and during our time together we take a moment to check-in and see how everything is going, and how everyone is doing. This is a space of love and openness and perfect support.

We were able to give a blessing to one of my fellow initiates tonight. This blessing is done when any member experiences a great change of life – be it a new child, or a death in the family. Unfortunately tonight’s blessing was due to the latter.  We gathered around this sister, energetically washed her of the tendrils of her burden, and then we sang to her. We filled the hole that was left with the love we have for her – nothing will ever replace what she lost, but she will know more solidly that we are always there for her whenever she needs. She is whole.

The other nice thing about this coven is that they take 2 vacations (consisting of whomever can come). One is in the fall, and the other in spring. This will be the first year that I, and my fellow initiates, will be invited to the fall retreat. And next spring will mark the same for that retreat as well. Both are a chance to reconnect and tighten up our bonds, and for some to actually put down roots within the community.

In addition to both of these retreats they also host a Thanksgiving feast. This is a potluck with whatever you can manage, and again just a chance to sit and warmly celebrate. I am hoping to also celebrate with them in this. This meal is supposed to be a celebration of that which you are thankful for (history aside). And as I progress through this year I am finding more and more reasons to be thankful for these people, and for them to be so closely in my life.

With all of my heart, I can say that I do love these people. I do not have the same love for them that I do my son, nor my partner. But it is becoming clearer that they are in my life for the long haul, and we will not part ways before my life, and theirs, has been drastically changed for the better.

The Dragon Strikes Again...

Today was the 11th annual Pagan Alliance Festival, which marked my second time in attendance. All around it was a great day! I marched in the parade - was part of the "stroller brigade", sang songs, and projected heartfelt energy of love and honour to be a part of such a wonderful community. I also managed to squeeze in a small sunburn. Having arrived around 10:45a and staying until about 6:25p, I got in a decent amount of sun time. We'll see tomorrow just how bad it is, though for now it seems pretty secluded to the areas in which my arms weren't long enough to reach to apply sunscreen (I did remember to get my sandal adorned feet).

As with every year there were tons of vendors, all selling their witchy stuffs. Several booths had clothes of a flowy nature, several had jewelry to fit every mood and theme, and several were somewhere in-between selling travel altars and statuary or even leather masks. The full extent of the items offered cannot be summed up into one measly blog post.

Beyond that, I got to witness the passing of the Keeper of the Light from my own High Priestess, Yeshe Rabbit, to another well respected community member - T. Thorn Coyle. While I don't know her personally, I do trust that she will hold this role to the full extent of the Pagan Alliance's expectations, and still discover bits of herself along the way. But this is not why I am here at nearly midnight, so lets get to the good stuff - shall we? xD

Through my perusing today I found a few things worthy of coming home with me. Trying to be budget conscious means less spending, so in reality I found a LOT of things I really wanted to bring home - but managed to limit myself to just a few. I also want to take this time to note that I have zero affiliation with any of the stores I'm about to mention, whether or not I purchased anything these are the business cards I grabbed.

The first place that caught my attention was a little pottery shop - Woven Potter. What first stopped me about them was the hand crafted coffee mugs with painted trees. After looking around for a few minutes I saw the figurines. Whatever forces you wish to claim were afoot today, as they led me straight to a little green dragon with a curved horn. He was curled up into a little ball, with his eyes open and looking up at me. Reluctantly, I put him down so I could continue on, getting a chance to kind of glance about, before I really was able to look in my usual way.

I also found some cute things at In and Out My Window. Run by two sisters and they've got sun catchers, hand knit tea cup sacks, travel altars, etching sticks, and much more. There was also a jewelry place - Eyescream. She had some awesome headpieces, cameo, key, and gemstone pendants, and so many other things that were just so much to take in (in a very good, pleasing way).

Then, there was this mask. This gorgeous, hand-painted, leather Dragon mask from Oak Myth. Purples and golds, horns and wings, oh my goodness was it decadent! There were other equally lovely masks, including a Peacock and an Athena mask. Really, you should check them out. I did not bring home this lovely Dragon mask, but oh man did it speak to me. Being a glasses wearer, masks are harder for me to use so I wasn't as reluctant to let it go.

Eventually I found my way to the wand shop - Willowroot Wands. I saw them last year, and remember them quite well. Last year I had a vastly different financial standing than I do this year (this whole having a job thing and all xD), so my experience was looking only. This year, on the other hand, I looked with an open heart and mind to finding something - or not, should that be the case. I saw many things that were pleasing to the eye, but there was one in particular that I just couldn't stand to put down - not even for 5 seconds to look at something else. I tried setting it down a few times, convincing myself I could think about it just a little bit longer. It was when I had set it down for that 5 seconds to use both of my hands for something else eye appealing that I knew it was meant to come home with me. With the twisty stem, this dragon wand became my own.

So now, in the midst of a major transition, my dragon collection has grown. I knew this year was going to be special, and with what's been going on thus far I can only wait for what's around the corner.

Mystical Blessings!

2012: A year of Flowers and Dragons

My thoughts come and go like the wind, though this particular theme keeps resurfacing. It's important to note the things that recur within our day to day lives, and to try and reflect on them. It is my belief that the divine sends us messages, hints, signs - anything really to catch our attention and to give us a glimpse into the future, or to give us that extra bit information that we need to finish a given puzzle.

In December of last year, the coven that I have the honour of Initiating into this year held a Full Moon circle in which oracles were present. These oracles were to deliver messages of the year to come. Now, it's been a few months so I don't remember the exact wording - and to be honest that wording left me before I said my good-bye's that very evening. My mind constantly translates things into statements that it can understand - this was no different. What the message comes down to is this: "Watch him, and in a field of flowers he will show you the way out."

Now, I received this message after I had submitted my application for Initiation, but before I had received an answer on my acceptance. I had been fretting the news for weeks. In fact, it had started before I hit the 'Send' button. It had begun the moment I started putting my words into the application itself. I had such a great calling to this coven from the moment that I had, in a roundabout way, found them. The importance of this is quite simple... This coven, Come As You Are Coven, has formed many traditions - one of which being the Wildflowers. And in that moment, I knew. I knew I had been accepted, that I had been welcomed into the family that they had created.


Flowers are a unique being unto themselves. Within the same species each flower has it's own thumbprint, a special pattern and colouring, a specific energy. Various types have made themselves known, with the Lotus making a more prominent statement. I know that as the year passes this will continue, and I can only pray that I remember the symbolism behind it...

Ever since I found CAYA, various magickal things have been popping up in more frequency. I have refound my admiration for the faeries, and for dolphins, but most importantly for dragons. This year is the year of the Water Dragon. Water is my favoured element, and the first time a Dragon year came into my life I was just shy of 3 months old - so this year holds some valuable meaning.

On top of all of that, I am being reminded of gifts that I once cherished. Having the ability to hear across the veils can be overwhelming, but it can also be a quick transport to anywhere that is less mundane than this place. My system hasn't quite synced up to that standing, but the sensations are becoming more and more clear.

Each initiate has a journey. This journey is unique and mind blowing in ways that anyone who hasn't been through the process won't quite understand. My journey thus far has been quite a ride. Everywhere I turn I notice the same things, patterns, and numbers. Everywhere I go I feel, sense, and know things that no human has any business meddling with. I suppose in that case that it's good that I'm no human, in body - perhaps, but definitely not within my spirit.

Here is simply where my story begins. This is just the beginning, and hopefully the road to where I need to be. Let my path be decorated with flowers, and let my ears be filled with the whispers of the dragons, but most importantly let this journey be blessed!