Breaking Out of the Box

The assignment for day 6 is about breaking habits, and trying new forms of expression. If your blog is mostly text - add a picture, or reference a tweet. If your blog already sticks to images - add a video, or a song. If you already do some of that, do something else. Break routine, and shake things up. Since I have tried some of the ideas offered, I'm going to explore other possibilities.

Lately I've been on a "retrain you brain" kick. I frequently have negative, or negative leaning, thoughts, and I'm trying desperately hard to combat that from the get-go - instead of waiting days or weeks for it to fester into something beyond the reaches of my control. What this looks like is: "I'm fat."... "No, I'm curvy and beautiful and it's okay because I love me." Also: "My body wasn't made for that"... "No, my body was made just fine, the clothing wasn't made for me - and that's okay, because I'm just fine the way I am." And so on. Yes, most of these thought patterns are about my physical looks, but they aren't limited to just that. Sometimes these thoughts take hold of my womanhood, my motherhood, my capabilities as an adult - much less one trying to raise a kid. These thoughts come about for any and every aspect of my life. And I am trying to change that. I am trying to make it so that they happen less frequently. I am trying to make it so that before the negativity has a chance to surface, my brain automatically changes it into a self-positive comment. For the things that don't have a positive statement, or for the times when I refuse to create one - I am trying to allow myself the freedom to be upset, and to sit with the negativity. With the light comes darkness - for without the darkness, how can we truly understand and see the light.

Music is a therapeutic outlet for me. It always has been, and it likely will remain that way through the last of my days. I haven't communicated in songs in so long it pains me to try and remember. But this one seemed fitting for what I'm trying to convey.

"You can take everything I have
 You can break everything I am
 Like I'm made of glass
 Like I'm made of paper
 Go on and try to tear me down
 I will be rising from the ground
 Like a skyscraper
 Like a skyscraper"

In addition to all of that, I've also been trying to work on my personal powerhouse - that bit inside that just emanates pure, unbridled confidence. For a range of reasons I won't delve into here, this inner life-force has been quieted down and constrained so much over the course of my life, that I'm having to take some giant leaps from time to time just to make minor progress (if any at all). I'm hitting a point where I just want to run free and see what all I can accomplish before my subconscious gets wind of it and reminds me that I can't do any of that.

"It’s time to see what I can do
 To test the limits and break through
 No right, no wrong, no rules for me
 I’m free"

I can be as powerful as I choose to be. With extra emphasis on "I choose". Me. Not anyone else. I rule my emotions. I rule what it is I can and cannot do. I decide. There is no point in holding back when it comes to my life. Obviously when it comes to finer details along the way, one should take care with how they proceed. There is no sense in telling your boss that you don't agree with him/her in such a manner that will get you fired when that's the only source of income you have.

(Credits for how to do this here. Of note for Blogger users: put the HTML code under the HTML header only - so make note of where it is if you're adding pins and writing at the same time.)

This is fun.